Perhaps it is because I’m a marriage and family therapist that I
find the marriage analogy of redemption through our covenant relationship with
Christ so illuminating.... One example I
often use in counseling others about the Atonement of Christ is the “Parable of
the Socks and the Laundry Hamper.”
There was once a man
married to a lovely wife. They had a great marriage in many respects, but one
issue arose early in their married life. The husband had a propensity to take
off his dirty socks and “shoot baskets” with those socks toward the hamper
across the room. The problem was that he wasn’t as good of a shot as he thought
he was, and (more often than not) the socks ended up on the floor near the
hamper rather than in it. He also wasn’t the conscientious type to go over and
pick up the socks on the floor when he missed making the basket. He just left
them there on the floor near the hamper. His loving wife was kind, but firm in
her boundaries. She didn’t mind washing the clothes in the hamper, but she
wasn’t about to be her husband’s “maid” and pick up his scattered dirty socks
when he missed making a basket into the hamper. She asked him to please pick up
his own dirty socks so they would be in the hamper and not on the floor.
Well, the husband
honestly tried for a while to be mindful of his wife’s wishes and tried to be
considerate about getting his dirty socks into the hamper. But human nature
being what it is, he was “foolish and unstable” in his determination to please
his wife, and he eventually fell back into the habit of shooting baskets with
his socks and leaving the missed ones on the floor.
What would you
imagine the wife did in response? Did she divorce him? No, of course not. Instead
she firmly reminded him of his promise not to shoot baskets with his socks and
leave them on the floor. Essentially, she “chastened him” and “called him to
repentance.” The husband responded penitently by promising not to do that
again. Harmony in their marital relationship was restored. This went on for an
even longer period of time where the husband ensured the dirty socks were in
the hamper, but eventually the natural man within himself got the best of him
and he “relapsed” into his old sock-shooting behavior. The wife once again was
patient. Rather than divorce him, she once again chastened him and he repented
of his ways. The cycle of behaving by ensuring the dirty socks were in the
hamper followed by lapses, chastening, and repentance went on for many years. Despite the seriously irksome behavior of the
husband’s wayward sock-shooting, the wife never left him. Sure, there were
times of relational discord, but they always worked it out as the husband sincerely
repented.
One day something
very significant happened. The husband was about to shoot baskets with his
dirty socks and before he did so, with the help of the Holy Ghost, a few
thoughts instantaneously popped into his mind. He first pictured his wife who
was very pregnant with their fourth child having to bend over and pick up his
socks. Despite her physical difficulty at having to bend over the large
swelling in her abdomen due to the baby inside her, she picked up the socks
anyway out of love for her husband and a desire to have a clean house. The second
thought was of his three-year-old son watching dad shoot baskets and then
mimicking dad’s behavior with his own little socks – leaving them on the floor
for mom to pick up. The third thought was of the area of the room near the
hamper covered with a mountain of smelly, dirty socks piled up against the
hamper and knew that if it weren’t for his wife, the room would be an
unpleasant mess. He realized in that moment that he really did value a clean
room and should act accordingly. He actually did want a clean room in and of
himself, not just because that was what his wife liked. Secondly, he realized
what a poor example he had set for his children and how they were not learning
to be responsible. Finally, he came to understand the great burden he placed on
his wife through his thoughtless actions, how she’d been patient with his
carelessness, how much she loved him that she would labor to keep the room
clean, and also that she loved him enough to not enable him, but rather to have
high expectations that he repent and change his ways. In that moment, he wanted
the socks in the hamper as much as his lovely wife did and he changed his
behavior to fit his new value. The couple never again had a problem with socks
being left outside the hamper ever again.
In what way is
each one of us like the wayward sock-shooting husband? How does selfishness and
thoughtlessness in our lives lead us away from closer, happier relationships
with family members, loved-ones, and the Savior? How often do we go through the
cycle of sinning, being chastened, repenting, and the relapsing back into sin? The
answer to these questions is probably, “More often then we’d like to admit.”
But the
solution to our problems is the same as the one for the wayward sock-shooting
husband. Just like him, we have to:
1.
Enter into a covenant relationship with One (Jesus Christ) who
is more righteous than us and has the patience to extend forgiveness until we
grow, develop, and progress.
2.
We learn and grow stronger - strengthening the spiritual resolve
and capacity to completely forsake the sin – as we earnestly and sincerely
engage in the process of recognizing our sins, enduring chastening, and
repenting to the best of our ability (the sacrament is a great weekly tool to
help us repent and grow stronger each week).
3.
We have to become converted to the principles of righteousness. We
do this by yielding our hearts to God, seeking to desire what He desires,
recognizing the impact of our sins on ourselves and others (including the
Savior’s burdens He carried for us), correcting our actions to fit our values, and
genuinely have a change of heart – thereby wanting what He wants and purifying
our desires before Him.
----Excerpt from Chapter Three of Why Repentance Matters by Dr. Kyle N. Weir
----available on Amazon at: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Repentance-Matters-Kyle-Weir/dp/1976846943/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1523944722&sr=8-1&keywords=why+repentance+matters
